The Culture War Code

How to Make Peace at the Kitchen Table (and Maybe Save the Country Too)

Cover coming soon

Jamie Murray

The book

The Culture War Code

How to Make Peace at the Kitchen Table (and Maybe Save the Country Too)

by Jamie Murray

Every family has a fight that keeps coming back. This book explains why good people disagree, and gives you simple tools to turn that fight into a conversation.

It brings together Spiral Dynamics, generational history and developmental psychology — research-informed, not proven — and turns them into practices anyone can use at the kitchen table, at work and in town.

What’s inside

Four parts, one practice.

Part I

Decode

Why good people disagree: values, generations, history and the stages of a life.

  1. The Spiral at Your Table
  2. When You Arrived
  3. Windows of Becoming
  4. Finding Your Coordinates

Part II

Translate

The tools that turn a fight into a conversation, and one fight followed from start to finish.

  1. The Kitchen Table Translator
  2. One Fight, Start to Finish

Part III

Decide

How to get unstuck, and how to tell when a bridge can’t be built yet.

  1. Breaking Through
  2. When Bridges Can’t Be Built (Yet)

Part IV

Widen

Taking the practice from your table to your workplace, school board and town.

  1. From Your Table to the Town Square

Plus the Conclusion, “Welcome Home,” and four appendices: The Spiral at a Glance, Your Generational Decoder Ring, The Bridge-Builder’s Toolkit, and Resources for Bridge-Builders.

After you read it

What you’ll be able to do.

  • Spot what someone is protecting, even in the middle of an argument.
  • Read the four coordinates behind a view: values, generation, history and stage of life.
  • Run a 5-Minute Peace Treaty with someone you love and disagree with.
  • Know when to stop: four questions to ask before any hard topic.
  • Bring the practice to your workplace, your school board or your town.

“None of this asks you to fix the country, or to become a wiser person before you start.”

From Chapter 9

Download the book free (PDF)

Free download coming soon.

The cover and PDF are still being finished. Join the monthly letter and we’ll tell you when the free download is ready. Same list as everywhere else on this site — there is no confirmation email yet.

Unsubscribe anytime. Your email is never shared.

Reading it together?

Turn the book into six conversations.

The free Circle Guide gives a host everything for six 90-minute sessions: agreements, questions from each chapter, a Topic of the Day and cut-out pocket cards.

Get the Circle Guide

For groups

Copies for a circle, class or congregation.

Ordering ten or more? Get in touch about group copies.

Contact us

Advance readers

Request the free advance PDF.

The book is coming soon on Amazon. If you are reading before that, leave your email. Jamie sends the file to advance readers.

About the author

Jamie Murray

Jamie Murray writes about why good people disagree, and how families, workplaces and towns can learn to disagree better.